Dating and Relationship Advice

Why Do People Lie About Their Sexual Partners?

Things we value most in a relationship are honesty and openness. But when it comes to past sexual partners, your spouse might not be quite as open and honest as you’d like.

People lie about their past sexual history for a variety of reasons.  Here are a few of the most common reasons that you may be being strung a yarn.

1.     It was an earlier chapter in their life

All of us change as we get older. Most of us become more mature and sensible. If your partner went through a chapter in their life in which they were a lot more promiscuous, they’ll want to keep that to themselves. Or at least not draw attention to it if you already know about it.

Playing the field with different partners is not unusual and most would say is part and parcel of growing up. By not talking about it, your partner is trying to forget the past and focus on their new life with you.

2.     It involved cheating

If cheating was involved then getting the truth out of your partner will be problematic. They’ll be reluctant to tell you exactly what happened or even who the affair was with if you don’t already know.

Your partner may be trying to spare you the hurt. But they will also want to guard themselves from blame and guilt. There are always reasons for adultery and your partner may be using these as justification for their behavior and possibly not giving you the full story.

Not to mention they will be concerned about the other person they were involved with and will not want the details to get out in the open.

3.     They regretted it afterwards

Your partner will be far more apt to lie about having sex with someone in the past if they regret it afterwards. Everyone makes mistakes. In the heat of the moment your partner may have slept with someone and were sorry about it afterwards. It could have been a one night stand. Or it could have been a drunken fling. Perhaps it was with a co-worker or a friend.

We all reach low ebbs during periods in our lives and mistakes happen. But having spontaneous sex is seen as dirty and frowned upon in many societies, especially for girls. If they regret the encounter, you partner will just want to put it behind them. Talking about it will be the last thing on their mind.

4.     They want to protect you

If your partner is lying to you about someone they’ve had sex with, strange as it sounds they might be trying to protect you. We all have pasts and we have little idea where the future is going to take us. Your partner will certainly have had a love life before you arrived on the scene.

It may be hard to accept, but the truth is they could well have had relationships with people you know: friends, colleagues, past boyfriends/girlfriends, even relatives. It happens and isn’t that unusual.

If this is the case your partner is not going to want to talk about that sexual encounter with you for fear of hurting your feelings or even causing a split in the relationship.

5.     They want to appear more/less sexually experienced

As far as attitudes go, some things never change regardless of what we hear in the media. Studies still show that men are more prone to exaggerate the number of past sexual partners they’ve had.

If your man hasn’t had very much experience in the bedroom department, he’ll understandably feel embarrassed admitting this to you. This is especially true if you are older or more sexually experienced than he is. In these situations men will not want to appear sexual novices and will often fabricate a few fantasy sexual encounters here and there.

On the other hand women are more likely to understate their past sexual experience. Careless talk hurts and she won’t want to be labelled as being “a bit loose”. She certainly won’t want to admit this if you are her new partner when things could blossom into a serious relationship. At least not right away.

6.     It was a fling on a holiday or business trip

What happens on holiday stays on holiday. So the saying goes. Many of us use holidays and trips away from home as a time to let our hair down. This can mean meeting new people and experiencing new things. In private and away from prying eyes.

The “holiday romance” is as old as time. For many people it will just be a few days of romancing and possibly sex.

It’s the classic no strings attached relationship where both know they’ll probably never see each another again. Holiday affairs are typically just a brief fantasy – so your partner will want to keep it to themselves. And if it happened long before you met you’ll just have to accept it as part of their sexual history.

How to Tell When He’s Lying to You

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