In bygone centuries, the rules of courtship and marriage were a lot more clear-cut than they are today. Certain forms were followed (most of them revolving around people’s social and economic standing) and then matches were made. These relationships typically had stability (i.e., they rarely ended in divorce) even if they didn’t necessarily foster happiness. In more recent decades such forms have been largely discarded, however, and the “playing field” has opened considerably. Men and women have been given more leeway to break out of their traditional roles in society. We have more choices in today’s world with regards to the kinds of relationships that we want to form.

But with choice comes responsibility, and we’re now left with the complex challenge of finding partners with whom we can share trust, common interests, values, and attraction, among other things. As the high incidence of divorce attests to, this is not always easily done. But there are some crucial ways in which the Internet can come to our aid in the modern day and help us to meet people with whom we have true compatibility.

It can be easy to take for granted, now that the prevalence of online dating sites has made the experience almost commonplace, but the opportunity to put our very core values, interests, beliefs, and dreams upfront in a profile for all to see is something without precedent in human history. It is a tool that, if used conscientiously, can help us to hone our quest for a mate and hold out for true compatibility. We’re better able to take fate into our own hands instead of waiting for miracles. “Soul mates” have managed to find one another in the past, and they’ll no doubt continue to do so, but for many of us such experiences can seem like something out of a fairy tale. Nowadays we’re empowered to consciously seek what in the past was often a matter of chance or “fate”.

The Internet also enables us to get to know and appreciate the inner self of a person without being distracted by physical attraction. In this way, we can bypass one of the major pitfalls of dating – one that has led to the demise of many a marriage. It’s easier for two people to ignore (or be oblivious to) differences and incompatibilities between them when they’re strongly attracted to each other physically. When interacting with prospective partners at the safe remove that the Internet affords us, we can take our time and make rational choices without excitement and hormones disturbing our clarity of mind.

Searching for compatibility with an intimate partner will always require a certain amount of work – and commitment to the process – on our parts. But modern technology has given us a tool to both broaden and refine our searches in the form of the Internet. If we know ourselves, and what we truly value in life, then we can use this tool to optimize our chances of getting to know someone who will mirror all that back to us. We no longer have to leave the prospect of true compatibility up to the whims of chance.

taraRelationshipsCompatibility,Divorce,Marriage,MatchmakingIn bygone centuries, the rules of courtship and marriage were a lot more clear-cut than they are today. Certain forms were followed (most of them revolving around people’s social and economic standing) and then matches were made. These relationships typically had stability (i.e., they rarely ended in divorce) even...Advice and Tips for Online Dating