Your partner may start cheating for a variety of reasons; maybe they’ve become bored with the relationship, maybe they are finding they are connecting with someone else better, or maybe it is just pure lust that attracts them to this person.
Whatever the case, one thing that you can be sure of is that it’s likely going to hurt. When you find out that you’re partner has cheated, your trust in them will be broken and as such, you may start questioning whether you can continue the relationship.
If you know how to deal with cheating, you can handle it better.
First you must decide how you are going to go about confronting your partner for cheating. Most people do not readily admit to their partner they have cheated so it might be up to you to bring it up.
Unless you have solid evidence that it is indeed taking place, it’s best not to try and place blame, but rather pose questions and see how they answer. Sometimes, they’ll realize you’re onto something and come clean with you right then and there.
Other times, you’ll have to press a little more for information.
Be sure to use plenty of ‘I feel’ and ‘I think’ type of phrases since this comes across as less directive in nature.
If you do have solid evidence and are fully decided that you are not going to continue on with the relationship, then you can come right out and say what you’ve found and inform them that you know. They may try and deny it, in which case it only proves to you that not only do they cheat, but they lie as well. This is likely not someone you want to be with anyway, so be happy you found these two character traits out now.
After the confrontation has taken place, it’ll be time for you both to decide where to go from there. If your partner expresses interest in continuing with the relationship and it was a one time cheating occurrence (they state they are not going to see this person again), then it’ll be up to you to decide whether you feel you can overcome this.
Some individuals are a firm believer in the saying, ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’. You may have your own views on this, but do consider, for select people, after they have cheated, they realize just how terrible it felt and that will scare them from every doing it again. You know your partner and whether this may apply to them.
If you do decide to continue with the relationship, expect your partner to give you full information about their ware-abouts for the next few months – or however long it takes for them to earn back your trust. You are justifiable in this position to being uncertain of them and if they want to get back together with you, they should be fully willing to do this. It was, after all, their mistake.
If you decide it will just be too hard for them to regain your trust, or they decided that they are not going to stop seeing whomever they are cheating with, then it it’s a really good idea for you to look into some counselling sessions.
A cheating partner can really affect your own self-esteem and beliefs about relationships. If you want to have a trusting relationship down the road, it’s important for you to resolve your feelings related to this person’s actions and come to the understanding that not everyone will betray your trust.
The last thing you want to happen is for this one time occurrence to start affecting your relationships down the road, so be sure to take some time for yourself and look after your needs.
While it was their actions that caused the break-up, unfortunately you are going to be the one who has to deal more with it during the aftermath.
Cheating is a very destructive thing in relationships and many, many individuals get hurt by it each day. You really must have a good hard look at your partners actions, whether they seem regretful, and what kind of things they are willing to do to maintain the relationship if you choose to go on (going to counselling, frequent checking in with you, giving you their schedule, etc).
Trust is something that when broken, is not easy to earn back. You, and you alone are going to be the one to determine whether you can give this back to your partner or not.
About The Guest Blogger: Vicky Zhou is a part-time writer, blogger, volunteer, and enjoys talking and writing about dating, relationships and love.