Realistic Dating Expectations
Everyone wants to find the perfect partner. It seems to come more easily for some people than for others. Perhaps one of the reasons that many people find it so difficult to find a partner has to do with the expectations they have of their relationships and their partner.
It’s important to be realistic about what you want and need from a mate. Nobody’s perfect, and no relationship is perfect. If you find yourself having trouble finding the right partner, or the right relationship, keep the following three things in mind when you consider what’s really important to you.
- Be open to types you haven’t considered –I can’t even count the number of female friends who have immediately ruled out a man as a potential partner for some superficial reason, without even getting to know him first. Expectations like “they must have a college degree” or “they can’t have been married before” limit the number of people we are open to meeting, and may cause us to pass over someone who could have been the love of our life.
- Don’t expect to find someone who likes everything you like – Many people are looking for their mirror image. Not only will this prove difficult to find, but if you do find it, you might end up being incredibly bored. It is important to agree on basic values and goals, but beyond that, liking all the same things is not necessary. 15 years ago if you had told me that I would have married an ex-Navy sailor who loved antique cars and fishing, I would have said you were crazy. But that’s who I ended up marrying and it has worked beautifully in part because we’re so different.
- Don’t expect your partner to meet all your emotional needs- Expecting one person to fulfill all your needs is not only unrealistic, but it puts a terrible burden on your partner. Both of you will still need to have friends and interests apart from each other in order to be fulfilled.
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