Trouble Heating Up a Romance? – Try Cooling the Cyber-Chat
Does your dating style need an intimacy boost? Finding it hard to get up close and personal with someone you care about? Could be you’re spending too much time saying way too little – and the endless cyber-chat is knocking the romance straight out of your inbox and into the trash bin. If this sounds like you, it’s time to log off all the digitals and dial up some better ways to communicate – here’s how.
Make Plans the Old-Fashioned Way – via Telephone
Setting up a date via e-mail can certainly be a convenient way to re-confirm a time and place, but if you’re e-planning every hook-up, things can get pretty chilly. A keypad just can’t express warmth and enthusiasm the way your voice can – so pick up the phone and try connecting the old-fashioned way, at least some of the time.
Tone Down the Texting
If you’re spending hours on end texting each other from the comfort of cyberspace – you’re playing it safe, but not necessarily smarter. Too much digital-flirting can lead to boredom and loss of interest if the two of you don’t take it to the next level. Use your cell to boost the romantic vibe, and set stage for something hotter – in person.
Keep Your Eyes on Each Other – Not your Laptop
Playing video games or surfing the web can be fun, relaxing ways to hang out together, but watch for digital over-drive. Too much screen time can pose serious problems when your honey starts to feel ignored or underappreciated. Learn to read the signals – when either of you starts getting bored or restless – it’s time to log-off and focus on each other.
Resolve Conflicts in Person
All couples fight now and then, but the way you resolve disagreements can truly make or break the relationship. E-mailing and texting might seem like hostile-free zones but, in reality, they can land you in even more hot water. The written word only goes so far in expressing hurt feelings, and misinterpretations can lead to an emotional avalanche, if you don’t have a chance to hash things out face-to-face.
Don’t Air it all on Facebook
If you’re a facebook junky in the habit of updating your every move, you may want to think again when it comes to your love life. Though it’s fine to post some of your latest pics, keep more intimate feelings to yourself. Mature relationships require discretion and privacy, and posting lots of personal details may embarrass your partner or trivialize a blossoming romance.
Of course, digital hook-ups have plenty of upsides; texting or e-mailing can help you stay connected and even ignite some post-date fireworks. Just don’t let your keypad sub too often for more intimate forms of communication, or you’ll miss important opportunities to know each other better, work through differences and, ultimately, deepen the relationship.